Silent Sobs

There’s a storm outside. I hear the raindrops on the windows.
I’m lying on the floor in the children’s room.
They are peacefully asleep in their beds.
I’m so grateful for so much.

I am so thankful for the unconditional love
and affection they give me.
They are such a wonderful blessing.
They pour into me just as much as I pour into them.

I’m about to sleep and it’s one of those difficult nights
I’m going to cry myself to sleep
I just want to be held like a woman.

I don’t know when that will ever happen
for me again, in this lifetime
and it makes my heart sad sometimes.

But I prefer it this way
rather than to always beg for something
If someone loves you and cares about you,
they shouldn’t let you beg for the things they know matter to you.

Tonight is difficult for me.